


Clues

by TheDeathEcchi



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Meihem - Freeform, Oblivious trash rodent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-18
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2019-01-19 05:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12403773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDeathEcchi/pseuds/TheDeathEcchi
Summary: Mei is shy and subtle. Junkrat is an idiot.





	Clues

Breakfast at the watchpoint was hardly a communal experience. Try as Winston might, he could never manage to get the crew together in the mess hall for proper breakfast times. While he, 76, and Mercy would gather at a proper hour, the eating habits (and wakeup times) of the rest of the newly-formed Overwatch would become apparent. 

McCree and Hana would pop in and grab one thing (usually beer or candy respectively) and saunter off back to their rooms, to Mercy's consternation. Ana would indulge in a cup of tea and a scone or two before leaving for practice, Tracer would pop in sometime around noon, make a sandwich and leave, and the others all had their manner of just grabbing food and leaving.

Junkrat's particular modus operandi was to saunter in, pull open doors, cupboards and what have you, raid what he could, and leave a mess for a more exasperated teammate to clean.

This time, the pyro went straight for the oven, knowing full well that some of the other agents kept things in there. As he entered, he gave a quick wave and grin to Mei, Hana, and Lucio, the climatologist flaming red, while the younger pair were giggling like lunatics.

Junkrat popped open the oven, his face contorting into confusion as he saw a large bread roll nestled within. "Oi!" he shouted, his voice echoing off the cafeteria walls. "Who left their bun in here?"

"O-Oh, that's mine." squeaked Mei, offering a shy wave. "Sorry, I completely forgot I had a...bun in the oven."

Hana and Lucio were on the verge of exploding into laughter while Mei wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow her up so she could be spared the embarrassment.

"Well, whatchu got it in there for?" chortled Junkrat. "Damn thing wasn't even on!"

The giggles stopped. Mei tilted her head up to stare at Junkrat, wondering if she had heard him correctly. "What?"

"If you ain't gonna toast it or anything, at least put it in the breadbox." He cackled. "It'd get stale otherwise!"

Hana mouthed 'Is he freaking serious?' to Lucio, who only shrugged. Mei was still baffled. "Um...Junkrat, didn't you hear me? I said I have a _bun_...in the _oven_."

"Yeah, clear as day! What, you want it?" Reaching into the oven, he pulled out the bun and dropped it into her hand, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Enjoy it, babe!" 

Three dumbfounded sets of eyes stared at Junkrat's retreating back as silence reigned in the mess hall.

"My god..." muttered Hana. "He must be REAL good in bed."

-/-/-/-/-

"Jamison! Could I get some help, please?"

"With what!" he shouted from the other room.

"Dressing! I have these new pants, and--"

An orange and yellow blur shot out from the other room and Jamison appeared, grinning ear to ear.

"Always happy to get into yer pants, darl." snickered the junker, Mei rolling her eyes in response. "What's the issue?"

Mei gestured to the set of pants around her ankles. They were dark blue with white snowflakes, and had a very elastic waistband. 

"The hell's up with these?" he snapped as he hoisted them up around Mei's waist (groping a bit more than was necessary). "These're crazy stretchy!"

"Yes, well, I'm _expected_ to grow into them in _nine months_." She made sure to stress the last two words, looking at Junkrat expectantly.

"Sheesh, you weather-type smarties sure like looking ahead, eh?" he laughed, Mei slapping a hand to her head in utter frustration.

-/-/-/-/-

Mei stomped up to Jamison during dinner and thrust a card into his hands. Surprised, he read the front of it. _Who is a dad?_ Flipping it open, the words on the inside read _You. You is a dad._

Junkrat smirked lecherously and slung an arm around Mei's waist. "Ooh, babe, love it when you call me 'daddy'."

" _Kàn zài shàngdì de fèn shàng!_ " Mei snapped, grabbing Junkrat by the collar and shaking him. "I. Am. _**Pregnant**_!"

Golden eyes shrunk to the size of pinpricks as silence reigned in the cafeteria. Roadhog could barely be heard whispering "Christ, not another one." as he grumpily passed Ana a large cache of credits under the table. Angela was already thinking about baby-proofing the watchpoint, Winston was gently sobbing into his hands, and most of the other agents had already bolted at Junkrat unironically using the word 'daddy'.

"Junkrat?" asked Mei, her irritation giving way to concern. "Are you okay?"

"Uh...correct me if I'm wrong...didjya just say you were all preggers?" 

"Yes."

The blonde beamed, scooping up the surprised climatologist in a hug. "Well, why the hell didn't ya say so!?"

"I have been trying to tell you all day! How did you miss the bun in the oven!?"

"The hell's that about? Is that some Chinese thingie?"

"Everyone knows about that!" cut in Hana. "That's a euphemism!"

"Oi, don't you be tossin' words I don't know what they mean!"

Hana held her head in her hands and sighed, muttering in Korean.

"So you knew, too?" asked Junkrat, pointing an accusatory finger at Lúcio.

"I gave her the ideas for it." He paused. "With the gift of hindsight, I see now it might've been easier just to tell you. My bad."

Junkrat cackled and tousled Lúcio's hair. "Ain't no worry! Think about it! Ol' Junkrat, a pop! Never thought I'd see tha day!"

"I was _hoping_ I'd never see the day." rasped Roadhog.

"Just think about it, the pitter-patter of lil' junker feet, courtesy of my beloved ball and chain!"

"Excuse me?" huffed Mei, smiling in spite of the teasing.

"Beloved, I said! I made sure to add that." He thrust a metal finger at Lúcio. "And you're performin' at the shower; I won't have it any other way. Oh, we gotta start thinkin' a names! Any ideas, love?"

"We'll decide on that later. For now, I think we should find Angela."

"Roight, we'll let ol' Angel Face work her magic on yer insides. And Roadhog, you're godfather!"

"Pass."

"Ah ain't askin', you ham-hocked fucker!"


End file.
